*parses* Oh lawd. Emo headcanon ahoy!

1. See icon. No one wants to remember the day some evil fucker in a rubber smock sliced their head open and took out a chunk of their cerebrum.

2. The state dinner where he found out he was allergic to shellfish. File until "highly embarrassing incidents" and move on.

3. What killing someone feels like, and any number of personal violations and indignities he went through in the name of survival.

4. The exact number of people who died fighting a war he knew was going to be lost.

5. That time the queen told him she loved him like a brother =\