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taxonooc2010-02-18 09:19 pm
mercurialnature.livejournal.com) wrote in taxonooc2010-02-18 09:19 pmEntry tags:
mercurialnature.livejournal.com) wrote in taxonooc2010-02-18 09:19 pm
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:(
Improbable Bat/Mordred Spawn
B. Zodiac Sign and/or Hogwarts House: idk anything about Zodiac signs so uhm SLYTHERIN. ambition and being kind of shady, okay.
C. Circumstances of Conception: In DC comics-land, all manner of gods in every known pantheon and every mythical figure is real and immortal and ALWAYS UP TO SOME ANNOYING SHIT where Wonder Woman or somebody has to go knock Merlin's teeth out or something, anyway, so this happens, and Batman and Mordred have to SAVE THE WORLD except in their dark despair in Niflheim, Bruce pisses off a Valkyrie by refusing to sleep with her, so she curses his boytoy Mordred to carry his child in her stead.
D. PB/Appearance: Thomas Dekker since I am watching that Terminator TV show right now. He's short.
E. Three Random Facts:
1: Despite carrying the family name, Bruce doesn't have much to do with his magic mpreg babby because it was made by magic and magic honestly kind of pisses him off. Hence being at Hogwarts apparently.
2: He is excellent at crime fighting but knows if he ever shows up in a mask Daddy Wayne will strangle him.
3: He really loves musicals.
/loling
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B. Zodiac Sign and/or Hogwarts House: Sagittarius for the both of them, and Gloria is in Gryffindor while her ~twin brother~ is in Hufflepuff.
C. Circumstances of Conception: Because Bruce generally doesn't, you know, actually have a social life except to pretend to be a huge douchebag, Penny prettymuch hated him for a while until she figured out he was faking it and secretly just some awkward weirdo who kicked the shit out of jerks in his free time. Somebody's tablet happened to catch a recording of him breaking
[SOMEBODY'S]SURVEY SAYS DEAN (SORRY DEAN IT'S NOT MY FAULT I ASKED THE CHATROOM, I OWE YOU PIZZA AND BEER) Dean's nose for saying IDK, SOMETHING, IT'S NOT HARD TO PISS BATMAN OFF LET'S BE HONEST AND EVERYBODY FROM SPN TALKS A LOT and she was like "HEYYY BABY THAT'S HOT, CALL ME" and he was like "oh no my virtue" and this carried on until there was group poker and he lost and his bet was sleeping with Penny. Now he pays a fuckload of child support but that's okay because he is literally a billionaire.D. PB/Appearance: Alessandra Torresani and idk TOMSTU look at that fucking hair
E. Three Random Facts:
1: GLORIA BECOMES A CRIME FIGHTER SHE WEARS A GOLD BODYSUIT WITH RIDICULOUS AVANT GUARD MAKEUP Kyle becomes a painter and he doesn't like leaving the basement
2: Bruce traded the ability to name the kids for any say in their raising/said fuckload of child support
3: family christmas is pretty rad, though it usually involves someone accidentally setting something on fire
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can i just say how much i love the idea of one of penny's children growing up to become some sort of crimefighting lady gaga
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B. Zodiac Sign and/or Hogwarts House: Pisces, Ravenclaw.
C. Circumstances of Conception: THERE IS NO MPREG HAPPENING IN THIS MEME. THERE IS ENOUGH MPREG ANYWAY. Instead, Bruce has an affair with the woman Jack eventually marries and she gives birth before fucking off and saying 'btw it's THIS ASSHOLE'S' since she never actually had sex with Jack. Jack, distraught, tracks down Bruce, makes him take a paternity test, and thus there is a horrible sitcom. Because Bruce is ridiculously alpha male at other dudes he appropriates the babby and .. this can be done because lol paternity test. He treats Jack like a very lovely lapdog, though, he gets lots of scritches. :3
D. PB/Appearance: look, idk. brown hair and brown eyes, as always.
E. Three Random Facts:
1: she is insanely spoiled and very interested in politics but daddy Jack's track record kind of makes her go 'uuuhhh' about getting involved.
2: she doesn't know her other dad is Batman until way later in life, because she was sent to boarding schools and Bruce is kind of a distant jerk.
3: Bruce let her get a mohawk.
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Mohawk is A+ tho.
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XP
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B. Zodiac Sign and/or Hogwarts House: Gryffintroll
C. Circumstances of Conception: Look. She's going to be living with him and she doesn't wear pants.
ALRIGHT FINE I WON'T COP OUT
eventually Enfys just has enough of Taxon and has A Bad Day and loses it a little, there are real dragons here and not rainbows, etc, and she takes it out on her dear faux-employer; unfortunately Bruce is COMPLETELY AWFUL at being any kind of emotional support so this leads to angry comfort sex. BECAUSE THAT'S TOTALLY HEALTHY, YOU GUYS, but let's face it these two are not exactly candidates for Good Decisions Hall of Fame. anyway, because this is not a bodice-ripper novel, one sex act does not equal MAGIC BABBY, that would be too damn convenient - no, Enfys figured out HEY, AN OLDER GUY WITH ISSUES I CAN TOTALLY USE FOR STRESS RELIEF and Bruce was just like YOU KNOW WHAT.............. FINE, because at the end of the day he's a dude, and sometimes you just forget to restock bat-condoms in the utility belt and VIOLA. BABBY.
D. PB/Appearance: Coco Rocha. Who I think I used for a babby on another meme just like this one for another pairing but idr who but I like her so I am using her again.
E. Three Random Facts:
1: her superhero name is Godslayer and she carries an axe.
2: she has a pet sheep named Quagmire.
3: daddy bought her a jet for her eighteenth birthday.
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afraid I'm going to have to ask for her ID ma'am
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LOOK IT'S HER
THE DERPY DOCTOR
OR THE PSYCHO SLUTBOMB
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fine
but remember you brought this on yourself
brb
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oh god.