...tragically the only thing I can come up with is some papa wolf-like "who the fuck is the greedy vampire bastard chomping all over this person I'm supposed to be protecting (despite epic and ongoing failure to do so) when half the damn ship volunteered to be numnums? also this better not compromise his ability to recover from going overboard or so help me, some selfish fangy asshole is gonna be used to decorate the bowspirit."

Buuuuut I don't think I wanna touch that >.> Someone stage an intervention in my head.