taxonooc | So.

Hey guys. We were due for an SOTT at the start of this month, but..... I guess the question is, is there a point?

I don't think it's any surprise to anyone that things have slowed to a near-total halt. Threads are basically on life support at this point, or they've gone entirely unanswered (Keri, honey, I'm so sorry, I JUST NOW saw your posts from Glitch and Emma, and the fact that I haven't even checked the main comm in this long is pretty telling in and of itself). We're down to... five players? (Sof, Keri, Jess, Kat, and myself.)

Obviously there are things we need: more investment from your mods, more tags from us all, and above all new players. But we've tried to get those happening for, if we're honest, about a year now. It seems like every time we get up the juice for a fresh start, we end up sputtering to a halt a month or so later.

This holiday season has been extra-stressy for me, which has contributed to my personal fail here, but that's not an excuse, because I really can't promise I'll be any more committed or engaged in the new year, given my track record so far.

If someone has a compelling reason we should try and keep Taxon's lights on, please make the case. I love what this game has been in the past, I love so MUCH of the play I've had here over the years, but at this point I have to admit I'm pretty burned out and I know Sofie is too.

I don't want to write Taxon off, but my enthusiasm is at an all-time low and I don't think I'm alone in that.

Talk at me, folks.

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Between work, the suicide of a friend, holidays and an illness that stole a week and change from me... I've pretty much written off the last six weeks for anything remotely close to productivity. That said, I love the player and the RP but, yeah, it feels sort of up hill battle.

I've been pretty crappy at checking threads, too.

I think this is an amazing game with great people that's run out of energy as a while. If you don't want to close it, maybe pause out for a few months and then regroup and see how everyone feels?

I don't have any compelling reasons, I don't want to go through another failed rally attempt, and it's not fair to anyone to keep trying to press on when the enthusiasm's gone. Which does pretty much amount to "So long, and thanks for all the hamsters."

STILL: God I love this setting and these characters and the story we've built and I am/was psyched to be doing stuff with Glambrose, but there's no way we can keep trying to function as anything resembling a game. I don't think hiatusing for a while will help since we've more or less been on hiatus since summer.

I could suggest stripping it all down and just making it a musebox sort of thing where we dink around with the 'verse when we feel like it but I have no idea if anyone would be interested in something like that. I might have more later but I dunno what else there is to say.

I don't know, guys, level with me: is it burned out on running shit and the pressure of trying to make it work, or are you over it the entire concept/characters/story, or is doing weird things to fake people just not fun/anything like a priority anymore, or a combination?

I don't know, guys, level with me: is it burned out on running shit and the pressure of trying to make it work, or are you over it the entire concept/characters/story, or is doing weird things to fake people just not fun/anything like a priority anymore, or a combination?

I can't speak for Sofie, obviously... for myself I'd say it's about 80% the former, and then muddy 'kinda' for the rest. Like, I love my characters, and I love the other characters in Taxon too, but (and this part is thoroughly my own damn fault for taking on four characters) I don't feel I have the energy to play them all as they should be played.

Like, Paul's a good example-- ICly he is a proactive, leadery sort who I therefore need to post doing leadery, organization things.... but god do I find that exhausting, and not particularly fun. Or: Mayland. In order to move along a lot of the plot stuff that I myself WANT and have proposed, I need to have him making posts that disseminate research or other information, and it's just.... that's not RP, that's an obligation. *faceplant*

And the idea of going ahead and just museboxing it would take away those problems, but the other half of the big problem I have and have always had with Taxon, even back when I was still fairly new, was that it all feels repetitious and just doing the same things over and over, ultimately. So it's like I personally am in a Catch-22: I want plot, I crave it, I crave something big my characters can sink their teeth and actions into rather than just Life in Taxon Day #3,906, but at the same time I've found myself constitutionally incapable of keeping up on my own obligations as player and moderator to make the posts I need to make in order for that plot to happen.

TL;DR - mostly the former

Edited 2014-01-03 21:51 (UTC)

You've had a super rough December. *hugs* I hope that whatever happens with Taxon, your 2014 is much better.

I can throw no stones. And yeah, a hiatus-ish is certainly an option, I just flail mcflail. *flop*

Seconding Dien, best wishes all around Kat.

I was, actually, going to suggest (back when they posted in fact) that we hiatus until Gabe and Relia come back since they seemed to be picking up some of the plot-carrying weight. That's no solution either for any number of reasons but it was another notion I sort of had.

Aaaand springboarding in a slightly different direction: lately we've been trying to get away from Life In Taxon Day #3,906, we had the whole Big Damn plot post, bits of it kept getting implemented, and then very few people acted on it. I know how frustrating and disheartening that is, and how it becomes a self-perpetuating loop of non-participation. Even though I KNOW better, when I see tags not getting answered or posts getting ignored I slide into a "why bother?" mentality and any sense of urgency or desire to write dries up. Like I said on AIM the other night I never, ever expect tags anymore and I'm pretty sure no one ever expects tags from me either.

Ultimately it's up to you guys. We can hiatus and then maybe do a plot reboot to give the Real Boy thing an honest chance, we can pick another direction, I don't know. If you need someone else to step up and do plot carrying I could do some NPCing or something.

Or we can call it a good run and stop dragging this festering corpse around.

I think it's fairly obvious that I'm totally burned out re: Taxon, what with going awol for the past...three months-if-we're-being-nice. Some of it boils down to game-related things, some of it's down to RL stuff (short version: it's been a rough, stressful year on my end, and it isn't looking like 2014 is shaping up any differently). One of the things that I'm finding to be a bit of a struggle is, like Dien mentions in her comment, the repetitiveness of Taxon rp (and in my opinion, that repetitiveness extends to ooc things too).

From a modly perspective, it's rather an enthusiasm-killer to think up what I/we think is an awesome plot or a great big mystery for characters to dig into, and subsequently watch the OOC discussions ramp up expectations on everyone's end...when nothing really happens IC.

We have a few problems that I think are somewhat interlinked: threads grind to a halt, or in some cases seem to go on forever with nothing really happening to bring plot or character growth forward. Threads are repetitive. I don't mean to be harsh, but I have come to a point where even before I get a post up for any of my chars, I know the kinds of comments I'll get - because for one, the playerbase is small, and for twos and threes, you learn how the players play their characters, and everything just sort of meanders along like it always has.

I like meandering. I just...also want to be surprised every once in a while. I think we all do. RP at its best is a dynamic, give-and-take creative experience. At least, I think so. But where do you go from an all-time creative low and consequent stagnant CR?

I don't know. I love Taxon. I love the overarching plot in the works. I love the changes implemented over the past year and a half, I love a great deal of the CR. I'll be honest, I don't love all of it. I don't even get all of it, but most of it I really do love and re-read over and over.

Personally, I need a break from Taxon. I don't know if it will change anything, but it's either that or drop 2/3 of my characters, because Taxon rp has become a chore, and an uphill struggle of one.

Having said that, I don't want to give up my characters or the CR I have with other characters. Of course I don't. I just don't feel like I can play two out of three characters ICly (and even if I do, I don't feel it gets the right response/has the right effect, if that makes sense and doesn't sound ridiculously pretentious of me).

I really don't know, guys. :/ Pass me the cough syrup and some goshdarned sense-making skills.

So.

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